Gang, after nearly three decades of dragging LGBTQ+ travelers to literally every corner of this gorgeous planet, let me tell you a secret: the destinations are only half the story. I’ve watched lions hunt in Africa (truly dramatic), stood in front of the pyramids (dusty but iconic), hiked to ancient ruins in questionable footwear, and sailed through breathtaking fjords. But the most memorable part of every single trip? It’s rarely the scenery. It’s the people.
Thousands of travelers have taught me lessons that no guidebook could ever handle. Some are hilarious, some are surprisingly deep, and a few still gag me every single time.
Pack your bags, because here is what I’ve learned from decades on the road with the family (the chosen gay one).
The Unwritten Rules of Gay Group Travel
Never let your crew get hungry.
This is the absolute, non-negotiable, number-one rule of group travel. I don’t care how gorgeous the view is or how many stars the luxury hotel has. The second the blood sugar drops, the attitude clocks in. Feed your people before they get hangry, not after. It is truly miraculous how quickly a carbohydrate can restore world peace.
“Are you guys a baseball team?”
The locals love to look at our groups and ask what sports team we’re with. Sometimes, bless their hearts, they’ll ask where all our wives are. We usually just smile, look them dead in the eye, and explain that no, honey, we aren’t a baseball team—we’re just a sexy group of gay travelers exploring the world together.
We disagree on all kinds of things… except Art Deco.
Put a bus full of gays together and ask if they prefer sleek modern design or traditional décor, and you will spark a passionate, twenty-sided debate that could last all night. And yet, for some bizarre reason, Art Deco architecture receives absolute, universal adoration from the community. I still can’t fully explain it, but a geometric archway just does it for us.
Never underestimate the power of a spa.
Hotels will see a rooming list full of men’s names and assume their spa is going to be a ghost town. Then our group arrives. By 4:00 PM on day one, every single massage, facial, manicure, and body wrap is completely booked solid. We have left more than a few hotel managers utterly bewildered (and impressed) over the years.
What the World Teaches You About Traveling While Gay
Headlines lie, honey.
One of the biggest misconceptions in queer travel is assuming an entire country can be summed up by a scary news headline or an outdated law. I’ve taken groups to destinations that the media labels as totally anti-gay, only to be welcomed with extraordinary warmth by the hotel staff, restaurant owners, and local guides. On the flip side, I’ve clocked isolated moments of major shade in countries with fabulous legal protections. Laws matter, absolutely, but human connection matters more.
Politicos can ruin the vibe overnight.
Politics has a massive impact on travel, and honey, things change fast. A new government can move a country forward into enlightenment or drag it right back to the dark ages in a remarkably short period of time. That’s why we are constantly reevaluating our destinations instead of relying on gossip from five years ago. Stay updated or get left behind.
We don’t just sightsee—we interrogate.
Our travelers aren’t just there to snap a selfie in front of a monument and leave. Oh no, they want the tea. They will ask the safari guide about his family, grill the bartender about local dating culture, and ask the artisan exactly what inspires their work. They aren’t just collecting passport stamps; they’re collecting human connections.
Every Gay Travel Group Has Its Characters
The elders know exactly who they are.
One of my absolute favorite things about traveling with our more experienced, seasoned travelers is their total confidence. They’ve reached that fabulous age where they know exactly what brings them joy, what isn’t worth stressing over, and precisely what kind of vacation they want. They aren’t trying to impress anyone. They are just living their best lives, and we love to see it.
There is no “typical” gay couple.
Monogamous, adventurous, independent, attached-at-the-hip, we have it all. Some couples spend every waking second together, while others happily split up for the day and meet back up for a cocktail at dinner. Some have been together for six months; others have been tolerate–sorry, loving each other for fifty years. Every couple writes their own script, and it’s a beautiful thing to witness.
Solo travelers are the ultimate chameleons.
Our singles have PhDs in embracing uncertainty. They are often the quickest to mingle, the most comfortable when plans change, and the first to say “yes” to an unexpected detour. There is a certain main-character confidence that comes from mastering the art of solo travel, and it shows.
The look must be served.
If we are going on safari, someone will walk out of the hotel looking like they are shooting a multi-page spread for Vogue Earth. If we are hiking Machu Picchu, they will appear in enough high-tech neon gear to summit Everest. Half the entertainment of the trip is just watching everyone’s highly dramatic interpretation of the packing list.
The airport is our runway.
There is truly no better place for people-watching than an airport check-in desk with an LGBTQ+ tour group. The stunning jackets, the limited-edition sneakers, the vintage scarves, the tailored shirts, the bold eyewear, and the statement hats are a masterclass in personal style. It’s not about showing off; it’s about self-expression, and the category is Global Jetsetter.
The luggage mystery.
The traveler with the absolute largest, heaviest suitcase will inevitably wear the exact same three simple t-shirts the entire trip. Meanwhile, the person who packed a single, tiny carry-on somehow shows up to dinner every night looking completely different, draped in a whole new aesthetic. It makes no sense.
Kevin, if you are reading this, yes, I am talking about you, babe.
The Unexpected Moments Make the Best Travel Stories
Plan B? Sweetie, make it Plan D.
Flights get canceled. Weather acts up. Roads close. Wildlife decides to be antisocial. Museums unexpectedly shut their doors. The best trips aren’t the ones where everything goes perfectly; they’re the ones where the group doesn’t even notice something went wrong because I was quietly backstage shifting the entire itinerary. You have to know how to expertly turn lemons into a top-shelf vodka lemonade.
The library is permanently open.
I have laughed harder leading LGBTQ+ tours than anywhere else in my entire life. The humor in our community is just superior; it’s quick, witty, self-deprecating, and wonderfully clever. Even on the longest, most exhausting travel days, someone will inevitably drop a comment so hysterical that the entire bus is gasping for air.
The “If You Know, You Know” moments.
Every tour eventually reaches that magical point where someone drops a joke that only another LGBTQ+ person would understand. Half the crowd bursts into absolute hysterics while the straight tourists nearby look around wondering what the hell they missed. You just can’t replicate that instant sense of community.
Animals turn everyone into a puddle.
I have watched high-powered corporate executives, doctors, and ruthless lawyers completely lose all of their professional composure at the sight of a baby penguin waddling by or an elephant crossing the road. A squeal is a squeal, baby, and natural awe has no age limit.
The Best Part of Gay Travel Is the People
The most unpredictable friendships.
This one catches me off guard every single trip. Two travelers who appear to have absolutely nothing in common on day one will suddenly discover they both share a toxic obsession with the same obscure Broadway musical, old movie, or hobby. Next thing you know, they’re inseparable besties for the rest of the tour.
Everyone just wants to be seen.
At the end of the day, more than luxury hotels or five-star tasting menus, people just want to feel like they matter. They love it when someone remembers their name, notices when they need something, or asks about a story they told earlier in the week. Validation is the ultimate luxury amenity.
We actually do value depth.
Beneath all the laughter and the shade, many queer travelers are looking for something genuinely deep. They want meaningful conversations and real friendships that last long after the suitcases are unpacked. I have literally watched complete strangers become lifelong chosen family in less than two weeks.
The landmarks aren’t the highlight.
When you ask people about their favorite memory at the farewell dinner, they often talk about the local guide who shared a beautiful personal story, the bartender who memorized their hyper-specific drink order, or the stranger on the tour who ended up becoming a soulmate.
After all these years, yes, the destinations are still breathtaking. I will never get tired of watching someone look at the Taj Mahal or Machu Picchu for the very first time. But what keeps me doing this job isn’t just showing people the world. It’s watching our community discover one another, and occasionally, watching them discover a more authentic version of themselves.
And that, gorgeous, is a journey that never goes out of style.
About The Author
Best known as one of the cofounders of luxury gay vacation company, Zoom Vacations, Bryan has been a high school English teacher, personal trainer, freelance writer, and a hotel marketing and events sales manager. He grew up in the Willamette Valley in Oregon, and his childhood was filled with outdoor adventures. His roots in the outdoors, coupled with his inquisitive teacher’s mind and his appreciation for health and fitness (as well as for fabulous hotels and resorts) have led him to adventures in every continent, including Antarctica. He has toured the ancient catacombs of Rome, swam with horses where Australia’s rainforest meets the reef, haggled with Hong Kong merchants, danced the Samba in Brazil, and has even studied ecology and group dynamics in a Scottish commune.
In addition to his duties at Zoom Vacations®, Bryan also served on the Board of the Directors of the IGLTA (International Gay and Lesbian Travel Association) for four years, and as Board Chair for two. He was one of nine travel experts featured on the Travel Chanel’s hit show, “Vacation Challenge” and was the South America Gay Travel Expert for four episodes on Logo’s Gay Travel show, Bump. In addition, Bryan has hosted gay travel shorts for Comcast, and he is the gay travel expert for several gay online and print publications worldwide.
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